Managers Should Keep Employee Perspectives in Mind

Dear I.S.,

I wouldn’t yet assume Amy is going to leave or that you will need to push her out. She might be bringing up obstacles related to your daughter because she is worried about change and what it will mean to her, rather than pushing back on your daughter as a person. This is an opportunity to seek to understand.

1. Ask her to sit down with you, but do it somewhere other than your office. There is a power imbalance at work when you call a team member who reports to you into your office. Choose a conference room or, better yet, go offsite and grab coffee together somewhere you won’t be interrupted.
2. Start by telling her she is an important member of the team (even if you do consider her to be replaceable, 25 years is a lot of loyalty and commitment!) so you are not starting off with something off-putting. You want to focus on the positives.
3. Next, let her know you have heard her concerns and you respect her point of view. Tell her you’d like to understand more about why she is concerned and why her perception is one of nepotism, rather than that your daughter is qualified and able to contribute to the group. It’s important when you ask “why” questions to be open and not come across as combative or argumentative.
4. Ask her how she sees the addition of your daughter to the team affecting her. What does she expect will change in her role, or in her world, as a result of the change? Again, stay as patient as you can and simply listen to her point of view.
5. Let her know it isn’t optional in your eyes. Your daughter is joining the practice and will be an important member of the team. Her role is is going to be especially important longer term as you decide to slow down, so let Amy know you really want her to embrace this change and work with your daughter. Ask Amy what needs to happen to bring this about.
6. Lastly, have a conversation with your daughter, too. While you don’t want her to be ill at ease around Amy, you should let her know she is going to have to work hard to build bridges with Amy over time. She can’t force anything, so she will need to treat Amy with respect and work with her.

Many times, a team member raises an issue that isn’t really the main issue. I call this “the presenting problem.” It sounds like Amy is concerned you are giving your daughter something she doesn’t deserve, solely because she is your daughter. It’s much more likely Amy is worried about how this will all impact her, how she will work with your daughter, and whether your daughter will show her the same level of respect that you have. Stay open. Listen and learn.

Dear Bev,

I’m tired of having the three junior advisors who work with me traipse in and out of my office asking for the next prospect meeting that I have generated, more of a percentage on clients they are managing and additional opportunities if we bring on a new advisor.

You have to EARN your opportunities. Not one of them has brought a new piece of business to this team. It’s a situation of handouts in my view.

How do I say no without being discouraging and negative?

P.O.

Dear P.O.,

Please don’t get upset with me when I say this, but in order to stay away from being negative and discouraging you probably have to change your point of view and reframe the way you are thinking about these advisors and their requests. “Traipsing” is a negative word that connotes someone with not a lot else to do who keeps walking in and out with no purpose. Saying they have to “earn” something means you don’t believe they have done anything to date to earn these opportunities.

If you have measurements in place and you have accountabilities about what is expected from each of these people, they shouldn’t have the chance to ask for more. There is a responsibility on you, as the leader, to lay out what’s expected and show them where they are on track or off track. They may believe they are working hard and have earned certain rights, while you have a different point of view. This implies a lack of communication such that one side sees a very different story than the other.

Before you get angry and upset, ensure you have put the right parameters in place to help them measure whether they are on or off the mark. Many advisory roles today are more oriented toward relationship management, and it is about keeping the client, growing the relationship, and expanding from there. If they are doing this, they may believe it’s enough. If it’s not enough for you, make this clear.

Too many times, we assume others see what we see, and that’s rarely the case!

Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).

She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.

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